You're Here
by Yuleira
Summary: "It hurts that he's not here." She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his palm. He looked so miserable with that sad look in his blue eyes that reminded her so much of Shinichi's. For some reason that comforted her. Even it was just a little.


Title: You're here

Disclaimer: _I do not own Detective Conan, or any of the characters. ...If I did I'd be the happiest girl alive!_

_A/N: Just a little One Shot before I head to bed... I dedicate this to my friend, Angie. __  
><em>_Have fun reading!_

* * *

><p><em>Shinichi…<em>

…It was one of those moments again. And in those moments she dearly wished that he was there with her tonight, taking her into his arms and just… holding her tightly. Every night when she was lying awake in her bed she wished he would be there next to her. Hearing his soothing words as he calmed her from another nightmare and taking in the scent of his cologne.

Ever since they had met in London and he… had confessed to her, her thoughts had been swirling around him. And now more than before. She missed him dearly. So much… that she didn't know what to do with her feelings.

Her heart began to ache, bringing tears with it. They spilled over her lashes and sobs erupted from her throat. She pulled her legs to her chest and tried to stifle her weeps. She didn't want anyone to hear—

The door opened with a creak. "Ran…?"

With little to no effort she raised her gaze to the door and could make out Conan through her teary eyes. Oh gosh… she raised her head and wiped at the tears with her hands. But the more she tried to get rid of them the more flowed down her cheeks.

"Ran…" Conan called out her name again and came closer to her bed. She didn't want him to see her like this. But when she looked at him right then and there he resembled Shinichi so much… She wasn't even sure if that was just because he wasn't wearing his glasses or not. However when she saw that look in his eyes— the sadness, the _regret_. As if he were the reason for her tears. Surely not. At least she didn't think so. Ever since Shinichi had disappeared (and appeared once in a while) Conan's presence comforted and saddened her at the same time.

"I'm sorry, Conan-kun," she sobbed and attempted to blink her tears away. "I didn't want you to see me like this." He seemed to swallow and slightly touched her hand. "Is it because of Shinichi-nii-chan?"

…Somehow he knew that it was about him. Why else would she stay up in the middle of the night, crying alone in her room? That crybaby… How was he supposed to make her feel better in this physique?

She gave him that disbelieving look. Really now, it wasn't that hard to deduce _that_. He was about to think that she would pretend that everything was fine and send him back to his room with a false smile, but that didn't occur. Instead she got up from her bed then she was there, kneeling beside him, and hugged him tightly.

"Oh Conan… I… I don't know what to do a-anymore…!" she sobbed tearfully. Sorrow shattered her heart into a million pieces. It would be hard and take lots of patience to mend that together again. Once there was a scar it would never be fully healed. Tears fell from her eyes and she didn't think they would stop anytime soon. Her tears soaked into the soft cotton of his pajama.

He felt his heart break a little when she said those words. What was she supposed to do? As if she could do anything but wait… As much as he wanted to be with her, he couldn't without endangering her life. The life that was so much more important than his own. Her shoulders shook while she wept. Those trembling shoulders of hers that shook with each sob stung his heart like a nail being hammered into wood. The more she wept, the deeper and more intense he felt the stung.

If something would happen to her… he would never forgive himself. Not ever.

"I—" Somewhat seeking to comfort her in any way possible he touched her hazelnut-brown hair. The first thought that came to his mind was that it was unnaturally soft. Softer than he had imagined it to be. With slow and steady strokes he let his hand run over her head.

"I'm sorry, Ran-nee-chan," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

His voice was so sincere and filled with grief that it tied a knot in her throat. He shouldn't feel so responsible for seeing her this way. It wasn't as if it were his fault.

"I guess I just miss him too much…"

She loosened her arms around him and pulled back wiping at her eyes again that were red and swollen.

And yet… he had never seen her more beautiful than now. Her puffy eyes, the reddened cheeks. …Those swollen lips she had been chewing on… Clearly he would have a hard time holding back— if he had been in his grown body.

But it was selfish to think this way. She missed him, and of course he could understand that, because he did too. But unlike himself she wasn't able to see him. …He was able to be by her side, only undercover as Conan Edogawa. How was that fair?

…It wasn't. Not in the least.

If he weren't so egoistic he could let her go and live on… without him. That was a better option than the lies he was wrapping her in just so she wouldn't get hurt. However he hadn't considered her feelings when the lies had been created. That confession he had made in London had made it so much harder for them both.

"_She'll want to meet with you even more than before, and you'll end up hurting her instead…"_

…Ai had been right. She was hurting too much.

A single strand of her hair slid through his fingers. He was about to let his hand fall back to his side, but Ran grabbed it and held his small hand to her wet cheek for a short while, before letting it go again. His eyes saddened.

"I really wish you were Shinichi," she said faint above a whisper. He almost didn't catch it.

Now he was at a loss for words. She had said that very sentence before as well. It _was_ him! He wanted to grab her shoulders and tell her that it was really him and then _kiss_ her and…

On his side his fist clenched. He was struggling. Everything in him wanted to just rid himself of all the lies and tell her the _one truth_.

"Does Shinichi-nii-chan hurt you a lot when he's not here?" He had lowered his head when he asked the question almost as if he was too scared to see her face when she answered. He knew he was hurting her, but hearing her say it herself hurt so much more…

"It hurts that he's not _here_." She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his palm. He looked so miserable with that sad look in his blue eyes that reminded her so much of Shinichi's. For some reason that comforted her. Even it was just a little.

She reached out her hand and tucked her fingers under his chin lifting it. "Conan-kun…" She wiped his bangs from his eyes. "You don't need to feel sorry for something that isn't your fault, you know? Shinichi means so much to me… And I would always wait for him no matter how hard or long it will be." She forced a slight smile when she caught a glimpse of disbelief in his eyes. "…Because I know he'll find his way back to me."

She leaned down and planted a soft kiss on his forehead making him blush faintly. "And you know what, Conan?" A question left her lips and now her voice seemed to be a bit cheerier than before. With the tip of her finger she tapped his nose. "It really helps that you're here. Even though Shinichi's left, when you're here… it kind of feels that he's here." She then chuckled to herself at her silliness and cocked an eyebrow. "That's a bit weird, isn't it?"

He smiled, happy to hear she thought so. "Not at all, nee-chan."

_Ran… _She was so brave right now. Comforting herself and him with those words… He couldn't help but feel so very, very relieved and proud to have someone like her.

He would definitely come back to her.


End file.
